Self-pity is a color that looks good on no one. By the same token, false modesty isn’t very flattering either. The fact that we all know intuitively is that there is nothing sexier or more attractive than confidence and someone who embraces himself without being conceited.

I don’t know about you but my body is not always “camera ready.” ?These two picture are both of me. ?Both current and during the same time period. ?The way my body works they literally could have been taken on the same day. ?It expands and contracts depending on so many factors. What I’ve eaten and whether I’ve eaten or not. Whether or not I’ve worked out and caught a pump. Whether I’ve slept. Probably even according to the temperature. ?I don’t know.

Nobody looks good all the time. And we are constantly measuring ourselves up against images that are to some degree unreal. ?Yet, we expect to.

I have been lucky enough to have had the experience of being shot by a major male physique photographer. I’ve learned to take pretty good selfies and I understand the importance of good lighting. ?And I can tell you that more photos end up on the cutting room floor than ever make it in front of the eyes of the world.

But — and here’s the most important point — if you want you talk badly about yourself and your body (and most of us have been there) — please shut up. ?DON’T. ?It’s destructive and it’s holding you back from making the best Progress you can make. ?And nobody wants to hear it anyway.

What we need to do instead is recognize that we can judge ourselves by realistic standards. ?The contest is not between me and the air brushed carb starved cover model of Men’s Health who hasn’t eaten to prep today. ?It’s about my progress measured against me, where I come from and what my potential is. ?It’s?unrealistic to think I’m going to look good all the time and from every angle. ?But that doesn’t mean I’m not still damn good looking and sexy and in great shape for 47 even if my stomach gets bloated because I ate the wrong food or drank too many egg whites or ate white rice or drank too much water or whatever it might be.

Give yourself permission to say “that’s right I am the shit. I am the bomb!” ?And mean it. ?No guilt. ?No hesitation allowed. ?No caring or worry about what anyone else may think. ?Be through with apologizing to this world for who and what you are.

YOU GIVE IT TO YOU.

Today, when I am tempted to tear myself down for my physical imperfections, I will do my best to remember to accept and approve of myself and my body and realize that even the flawed me has moments of raw beauty. ?I will no longer apologize for who I am.

For god’s sake it’s even been proven that plants grow better when we talk to them positively and care for them. Why should I think that my own organic system functions any differently. ?Can’t I be willing to do the same for myself?

Love — even love and care for myself — is an Action. ?And the time is now for put up or shut up. ?Enough time has been wasted. ?So if you want the results you say you want for your body, just shut up and do it.